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What's on my mind?

Sunday, April 15, 2012

In Less Than A Week

God Willing, I'll be seeing another birthday. Age 41. I've been telling folks I'll be 26 again. For years, I've been disappointed with my birthday because I had been going about things all wrong. I'm expecting too much. Meaning, I expect the masses to help me celebrate my birthday. No, I don't mean a party but just a circle of folks who are excited about my birthday as I am. Well, this so called 'circle' isn't and I've learned to make things happen for myself, by myself. I have made my first spa appointment. I may treat myself to a meal at Crab Shanty (I miss those jumbo shrimp). I will use the freebie coupons or % off discount cards for shopping. I have to make MY birthday meaningful to me. If I'm calling the shots- can't be disappointed, right?

Wednesday, November 09, 2011


I wished I'd had the pleasure of meeting him. What he didn't know was that I was one of his biggest fans. So imagine my glee when he accepted my FB friendship request. I was also happy that I was able to give a few tips to help him with his account issue. Hev, Dear, God obviously needed more angels. You will be missed but never forgotten. MUAH...

Heavy D Obituary
5/24/1967 - 11/8/2011|

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Heavy D, the self-proclaimed "overweight lover" of hip-hop who became one of rap's top hit-makers with wit, humor and a positive vibe, has
died. He was 44. Lt. Mark Rosen of the Beverly Hills police said Heavy D died in Los Angeles hospital Tuesday after collapsing outside his home.Rosen
said Beverly Hills police officers were dispatched to Heavy D's condominium building Tuesday morning after receiving a report of an unconscious person
laying on the walkway of a building. They found Heavy D was conscious and communicative but had difficulty breathing and was transported to Cedars-Sinai
Medical Center, where he later died.Rosen said Beverly Hills detectives found no signs of foul play and believe his death is medically related. He said
Heavy D "was returning home from shopping. He experienced difficulty breathing while walking into his condominium building. He was being assisted up to his
apartment by building personnel when he collapsed in an exterior hallway."The last tweet from Heavy D, who frequently filled his timeline
with positivity, was posted Tuesday morning and read, "BE INSPIRED!"Dwight Arrington Myers, the rapper known as Heavy D of Heavy D
and the Boyz, and his crew released their debut album "Living Large" in 1987. Their hits included "Now That We Found Love," ''Who's the Man" and "Somebody For
Me."The New York-born rapper was one of the genre's most integral stars in the last 1980s and early 1990s, as it relied on new voices and star power to
fuel its phenomenal growth in the mainstream.The deep-voiced rapper's earliest hit, "The Overweight Lover's in the House," played up his hefty frame.
But while that nickname would stick, his weight did not become part of his shtick, like the Fat Boys. What drew people to his music was his singular style,
which celebrated an easygoing, party vibe — sometimes humorous, sometimes inspiring and almost always positive."Most know Heavy D as a rap icon,"
said actor-comedian Tommy Davidson. "I considered him a brother who made an indelible mark on me as a performer and a human being. I miss him
already."In the mid-1990s, Heavy D became president of Uptown Records, the label that released most of his albums and was also the home to acts like
Mary J. Blige and Jodeci. He also created the theme songs for sketch comedy shows "In Living Color" and "MADtv" and acted on such TV shows as "Boston
Public," ''The Tracy Morgan Show" and "Law & Order: SVU," as well as in the films like "Life" and "Step Up.""I feel sick," tweeted rapper and "Law
& Order" actor Ice T. "Everyone should stop for a second, take a breath and realize how lucky you are to be alive, then appreciate every second with your
luv ones."Combined with the fusion of the "New Jack Swing" musical style, Heavy D was a constant presence on the charts, and also a go-to figure
for several performers. He collaborated with such artists as Michael Jackson on the 1991 single "Jam" and the 1997 duet "Keep It Coming" with B.B.
King."My heart goes out to the family and (loved) ones of Heavy D," tweeted La Toya Jackson, who performed with him at a tribute concert for Michael
Jackson last month. "I am sooo sorry for your (loss). You will be in my prayers."The late Notorious B.I.G., Questlove and Sean Kingston were
just a few of the artists who counted Heavy D as an inspiration."We had a lot of great times touring together," tweeted MC Hammer. "He had a heart of
gold. He was a part of what's good about the world."Heavy D wasn't as successful with his later Boyz-free albums. He attempted a reggae-fueled
comeback in 2008 with the album "Vibes," which didn't contain any rapping. He returned to his lyrical roots on his latest album, "Love Opus," which was
released in September, and he performed a medley of his past hits at the 2011 BET Hip Hop Awards last month."I'm so glad that we got to work together
for his performance at last month's BET Hip-Hop Awards," said Stephen Hill, BET's president of music programming and specials. "Hev was focused, energetic
and happy. He worked hard, as he always had, to excite the crowd. Our condolences go to his family and specifically his daughter who he doted on. He
was a unique figure in hip-hop and will be missed."He most recently had a cameo appearance in the new movie "Tower Heist," starring Eddie Murphy and Ben
Copyright © 2011 The Associated Press

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


If it wasn't for that strange mrchocolatestuff.com thingy, I wouldn't be back on here. But I should. There's been so much of this and that going, there's no real beginning. I am very grateful for my life as I see it today. I'm moving on, moving up- slowly moving out. I have a few challenges ahead of me and I have to learn to have FAITH. I tell everyone else to have faith and look at me- scared, in the corner, with my thumb in my mouth. LOL. If I crash and burn, I can't say 'I shoulda, coulda, woulda'. I've tried. It didn't work. On to the next, right? I think I've been trained to always be prepared, like some kind of career long Brownie or Girl Scout. Combine that with some fear and nothing's getting done at the rate I need (or possibly want). The biggest failure is never trying at all. So- let's see what 2012 will be like. I'm working on a few things and it's just a matter of the pieces fitting together. I have to thank my friends and family for their support.

U P W A R D!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

Happy New Yeah!

SHT- 2011. Already. 2010 was hellish- emotionally. I will not sugar coat it. I will not hide or lie about it. My smiley times were scattered and small like grains of fine sea salt. The frowny times were huge like hand slaps, never missing a beat. My motto of positivity is ONWARD.

O- OUT with the OLD
N- NO more bad NEWS
W-WON'T let things WEAR me down
A-ARMED with Faith and AIMED to move forward
R-RAISING my REALNESS to another level
D-DON'T need or want DRAMA, DARK DAYS, DAMNED DUDES or DAMES in my life

January has been off to a flying start. My son turned 16- the year of choices and decisions. EEK. He had an unfortunate incident but was it so unfortunate? He's alive to see another day. I am truly grateful for that! Today's youth are ruthless and reckless. Most fail to see the consequences of their actions.

My oldest goddaughter has turned 13. Lawd lawd lawd help me- no, help her parents. But I love her to bits. She still needs guidance and I hope I can do my part with that. I miss my younger goddaughter and hopefully, Fate will bring her back into my life. I see she's growing up to be that fiesty 8 year old as I've predicted her to be.

I received notice that a balance is finally zeroed out. Did anyone see my tears rolling down my moley cheeks? The added bonus was now they owe ME money because I've overpaid.

I've made the decision to attend Soul Siesta in May. I am hoping friends and family will attend as well but if not, I am sure I will be taken care of. I may get lonely at times, but I will not be alone.

Before the new year kicked off, I made a decision to do things differently. Think differently. Travel more, locally and beyond if possible. Take care of myself- physically and mentally. Each month, I am going to do something that will help me, healthwise. First off- I cannot wait to be in that clean hotel room, sleeping the stress away. Next month is the Love month (OH BOY)- acupuncture or massage. March- another mini getaway. April is my birthday month and I will turn 40. Last year, I was amped to do something big, rounding up my other 40 to be folx- "WHERE DEY AT??" to go to Vegas or a day spa. Something. I'll keep hope alive. The year is starting out and some are recovering from the holidays. Maybe I'll go to Raleigh or Bayboro to be with family and friends. There is one person in particular that could stand to use a visit from me- but does he want a visit from me? (I'm not about to play myself)....May will be the trip to Mexico. Non stop parties. Which means, June will have me hiding somewhere to recouperate. Maybe, just maybe- Detroit.

Well it looks like half of 2011 will bring me lot of smiles and laughter.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I've purchased a journal to write to Mister for healing purposes. It's too soon to tell because I start out on a cheerful road and then start tearing as I write. So many questions unanswered. Some regrets. I am happy that we've had a lot of good times. The no so good times were the times of pain or discomfort and my feeling of helplessness. There's nothing worse than watching a loved one suffer. You do your best but it's beyond your control.

The love we had was unbinding. We had very lil spats or drama. We did fade in certain areas but the love never stopped.

I know in time I will heal and I hope to be able to love again.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

R.I.P. Markeith D. Eley (MLK Lodge #1)

R.I.P. Markeith D. Eley (MLK Lodge #1)

I've prepared for this day- it was a long time coming. Since your move, Each day was anxious and scary because my eyes were not hovering over you. We were miles away. Your passing is bittersweet- I never wanted you to go but knew that physically- you had to. Your body could no longer withstand the aches and pains. I am grateful for your last communication with me- that at least, told me you were OK while I was on vacation. I am sorry that I never got the chance to find out what you had to say to me.

I have to say thank you for being you. I've enjoyed our years together. Thank you for welcoming me into your life, including your family and friends. You've made a tremendous impact on my life, as well as my son's. Spiritually and emotionally, you were my husband.

WE were to one another: student/teacher/confidant/ATM/cook/model/photographer...Ahh the list goes on. I was Alice and you were Ralph. I was Scully to your Mulder. We were a perfect fit and everyone saw it or felt it. Again- I thank you for being you. I am not terribly sad that you are no longer here- you suffered and endured so much, I couldn't help but to smirk when you were called Home. Your soul ascended. You've finally got your wish and I congratulate you. I will do my best to watch over your parents and your son. I will do what I can to support MLK. Your job is done.

You are at peace. And I know, if you decide to visit me in my dreams- I will be too.
With Love and Understanding Always, Mrs. Chocolatestuff- in spirit- Nicole A. Tatum-Eley

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


This is dedicated for those who love. Love for another, near or far.


It didn't take me long to admit that my love for you is so hard that it aches within my soul. Yeah, so what? I don't mind the hurt. Pain is pleasure. I'm not even sure how strong this passion is- do you?

Do not get it twisted. I do not stare at my cell phone for those text messages. I never get them. Those 'let me check on you' phone calls- no. I don't look for them either. That's not your thing. When you say 'call anytime'- do you mean anytime? 5am? Midnight? Would you listen to my tears? My fears? My cheers? I'd listen to yours.

Emotionally and Spiritually connected. Beautiful. God given.

So what makes this real? How can we be when there have been distractions throughout the years? You stayed quiet, hidden in the shadows, waiting for some dude to screw up. I know you did. No lie. I've often wondered who was the 'lucky' lady. Thinking: I've blown it. I've lost him. Faith kept me grounded and sane. Without it or just a sprinkling of it, my mind would have gone numb. You were made for Me.

I aint sure about you, but I'm tired. Michael said it best: I'm a LOVER NOT a FIGHTER! I can't hold up this wall any longer. My knees are weak, my heart is heavy and my arms are screaming to reach out to you- to tickle you, hold you, caress you. Come to think of it- the wall isn't needed. You know I've got your back. I'm your Ride or Die. I've proven myself over the years. I can't hurt you. It's not my nature. You won't hurt me, that's not who you are, a fact. I know you've got my back, Ride or Die. Gosh, many times you've proven yourself. I was made for You.

Sooooooo...what should we do about this?