I am thankful for my health and some sense of sanity. My 'vacation' was not but I did what I could to keep my hosts comfortable in every way. I will admit, the week wore me out financially and emotionally. I was limited, unrested, bored and helpless. I have nothing but Love for them and now I feel obligated to do whatever I can, when I can without killing myself.
Yes I am tired. Physically. I am working on a vacation designed for me. Rest. Very little activity and no communication. No laptop. No cell phone. It's a challenge for me but I owe it to myself. I work hard at both jobs- HARD, esp at the night job. My feet, hips and back are at their breaking point but I press on, as usual, ignoring the aches and pains.
I have played Mega Millions like a dedicated and wishful soldier. No luck has befallen me. I do wonder if it's because it's not my time or it wasn't meant for me to have such fortune. Still, I keep trying and will do so. Lotto too.
I thought about my obligations should I win. So many people would be touched. Lives would change forever. Parents get half and then the kids would have trusts. My soulmate would be flown to see specialists to help him, cure him. I know there is a solution to all of this and UNC just hasn't gotten it yet. I think: how much longer can he endure? He's a fighter and I know there are times of wanting to quit. Which is stronger- the will to live and fight or the will to give up and die slowly? I aint done with him yet. There is too much to do- traveling, building our home, starting our family. There are times I think these are fantasies, pipe dreams, far away wishes. But it doesnt have to be this way. Small goals can lead to huge accomplishments. Difficult to say if time is really on our side. I can only pray for positivity and good health.