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What's on my mind?

What's on my mind?

Sunday, September 07, 2008

To Be Loved . . .

is a physiological need for all humans. All should feel loved by someone in order to function throughout their daily lives- friends, family, co workers- someone. I cannot say that it is a privilege to be loved. Maybe it depends on the level of the relationship(s).

Friends: Years may fly by and love could be lost- or not. They may be good people, treat you right, do good things but you've lost touch due to families, careers and so forth. That love never fades. 10 years later, you could still talk to the person as if they were with you the day before. There are some friends who have a falling out and the love is gone. Honestly- if you are mistreated by someone too many times, you begin to feel that your love was wasted-so you pack it up for the next lucky person who may come around. I think for those who feel they are deserving of love should make sure they are behaving in ways to earn it. I believe if one feels his or her love has been misused or abused, the lover has the right to leave the loved.

Family: One would think that it should be natural for relatives to love one another because they are bound by blood. And that could be true- love the person but do not love their behavior(s). How many times have you heard:

"I love them, I gotta love them cuz they fam, BUT. . . "

I was told by a relative that her mother didn't love her. I don't know what was said to her by her mother but she was very sure she was very unloved by her mother. That is a sad deal. And so much time has passed. So much anger and hurt has built up to where I am unsure nothing can be done to repair it. This relative was so hurt that she felt the need to talk to her children and myself (I'm like another daughter). She said to me that no matter what happens, she loves me, my mother loves me, my stepdad loves me, my family loves me and I should feel love whenever it's needed. She told me that she would never pick her children over me because she has no favorites. And if she did choose her children over me, to please not take my anger out on those children but on her for it was her decision to choose, not theirs. I am on the outside looking in- I never saw her as having a favorite child but I do wonder if her children feel the same as I.

As you can imagine, I was totally caught off guard by this monologue- I didnt know where this was all coming from but she really needed to let these emotions all out. I understood everything she said and will certainly keep her words close. I am just confused or more perplexed that her mother had favorites out of her daughters. It sort me made me feel that I was lucky to be an only child. If I could take away this person's pain, I would. If I knew what could be done to correct a wrong, I would.


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