Last weekend, I went to visit my sister who recently gave birth, at her mother's place. I dont remember her mother too well and as many pictures I've sent of me and my son over the years, she admitted to me a few days ago she didnt recognize me. lol. Anyway, I saw her about to prepare bread pudding and wanted the recipe so I called to get it. When I asked if everything was good, she said my sister and the baby went to see the father or the father's family (spanish). She said and i quote: i dont play that puerto rican mess'. That hurt my heart to hear. I said to her as long as they (he and his family) treat sister and baby right, it's all good no matter who they are. And the baby would be at an advantage acquiring 2 languages and learning and being a part of 2 cultures. She agreed or acted like she understood- but still doesnt play that p.r. mess. Told her what matters is how the parents of the child work as a team to ensure the baby gets what she needs 24-7. I asked about the father- how he is, etc- and she said 'uh, he's alright'.. our father said the very same thing when i asked if he met him. she compared him to sis's old boyfriend who was murdered in front of her some years ago: he's ok but he aint like shane, you know, that got killed. i said well let's hope this fella is good to both because if not, i'll be the big sister i need to be. lol. she laughed, gave me the recipe and we hung up..
i guess my problem was this presentation of disgust for another culture. i dont know the mother's background or her experiences but i feel that lumping everyone into a box is wrong.