There was a very interesting discussion about emotional maturity, men and women, males and females taking responsibility for getting involved with certain types of people....
I've commented and cosigned on posts made by the men in the group. A lot of ladies didn't like what one of the guys said.
I was on a roll...
This is from the female who has given up on males/men altogether (HER COMMENT): "all she needs to learn is ALWAYS been on your guard with men but NEVER let them know it. Know when to turn it on and know when to turn it off."
I have to disagree to an extent. she has to filter out males from men. too many males are posing as true men. a true man will do all he has to protect you- that is your emotional and spiritual being. that's his job. therefore, if she's surrounded by a mixture- it's her job to listen and see. we always seem to fail in that department and get pissed when the male (whom we believe to be a true man OR we try to change into a true man) has fucked us over... the key is knowing what a true man really is. we haven't been schooled because our mothers, our grandmothers, aunts, cousins and so forth keep running into males. a man is always faithful to the letter. the males- well, they do what they do
i have done so. i'll post what the ladies have to say.. i can already tell you one will say HELL NAW. but that's based on her experiences and I certainly can say that males have put her through some sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.. cant blame her for losing faith and lumping everyone into one bad bunch... and for my comment- YES. i believe MEN can be honest and faithful. it's the MALES you have to look out for. the key is to filter out who's who. takes work, self reflection and a lotttttttttt of patience. Men are males but they are responsible males- they are responsible for their health, family, finances, education, spiritual and emotional status. Males may portray themselves as true men and this is where females/women get messed up. Males ARE NOT MEN!!!! We fall for it- we have high expectations, we hope, we believe, we want things to work so badly and we are SOL when they leave us hanging. Well- again, it comes back to us. We owe it to ourselves to ask questions, to listen and see signs of pink and red flags- all of it and act accordingly. which is IMO- LEAVE THE MALES THE HELL ALONE.
I've put my personal defintion in a few groups and so far, I haven't had a debate on it. again- my definition: he will be responsible for his mental, emotional and physical health. he will be responsible for his family (this is including parents and siblings, not just wife and child(ren), his education (meaning he will make efforts to enhance or i should say reach out to obtain knowledge), his career, his religious background (i'd say God or Higher Power fearing in some kind of way) and finances (this does not mean rich with paper per se but know the concept of money, how to handle it, how to make it work for himself and/or his family). to extend- he will not hurt the women in his life. he will protect her heart, mind, body and soul. he will criticize out of love not out of spite. it may be human nature to be polyamorous but if he's interested in being monagamous, he will do every and all he can to be that way because, again- doing otherwise would hurt a woman's mind, body and soul. if she's happy- he's happy. surely we know if one is not happy, the home is going to fall apart. now if women understood this and their roles (meaning stop trying to be the man), i truly believe there'd be more harmony. unfortunately in this day and age, the roles are too reversed. if it's a man's job to lead and she's taking over everything- there's no balance. she can lead in some areas but she's to know when to step back and let the man be a man....so that crap about 'i dont need a man'.. well- it's CRAP. you dont need a male in your life but you definitely need a man.********part of the problem are the single parent homes. women trying to teach boys to be men. here's the problem: if she's been burned by males, her experiences and biases will not allow her to raise him properly. she needs a positive male role model (true man) around her son. i cannot teach my son to be a man. why? i'm not a man. my stepfather does what he can. i can tell him to wash his ass and such. i can mention proper manners. i can make suggestions and try to steer him in the right direction (watch out for the gold diggin chickens, wear condoms, etc,etc)- but my MAN has to do the rest- add on and repeat and put his take on things.. and men can do only so much to raise his daughter. he can only try to keep her from growing up to be a gold diggin chicken or whatever type of female burned his ass years ago. he has to find a true woman by example and standards and bring her into his daughter's life.